If you have ever sat in a stuffy lecture hall with a pencil in hand, heart racing during a CAT, and NEPA suddenly plunged everything into complete darkness — this skit was written for you. This is the most Nigerian thing that can happen to a student, and yet it never stops being painful, hilarious, and utterly relatable.
🎭 Characters
- Tunde — A 300-level Economics student who had actually read for once and cannot believe his luck just ran out
- Chidinma — His course mate who never reads but somehow always has a plan
- Dr. Adebayo — The no-nonsense lecturer who is about as sympathetic as a brick wall
- Security Man — The hall porter whose generator key goes missing every single time
📍 Setting
A university examination hall in a Nigerian federal university. It is 10 AM on a Tuesday. Forty-five students are hunched over their answer sheets. Ceiling fans are spinning. Suddenly — total blackout.
📜 Full Dialogue
[The hall is silent except for the scratching of pens. Tunde is writing furiously.]
Tunde: (whispering to himself) Okay okay, question four — comparative advantage, Heckscher–Ohlin theorem—
[CLICK. Every light dies. Fans grind to a halt. Darkness.]
Entire Hall: NEPA!!! 😩
Dr. Adebayo: (calmly, not looking up from his phone) Continue writing.
Tunde: Sir, we cannot see!
Dr. Adebayo: You have eyes. Use them.
Chidinma: (immediately relaxed, leaning back) Finally. God has answered my prayers. I did not even start question two.
Tunde: You should be panicking right now!
Chidinma: Me? Panic? Tunde my friend, darkness is my best friend. I have written three exams by phone torchlight alone this semester. I am actually more comfortable like this.
Dr. Adebayo: Security! Abeg bring generator key!
[Security man enters, sweat dripping down his face.]
Security Man: Oga, the key — the key is not in my pocket.
Dr. Adebayo: Where is it?
Security Man: I think I left am for staff room.
Dr. Adebayo: Staff room that is locked since morning?
Security Man: …Yes sir.
[Three students have already brought out their phones. One is using her Bible as a writing surface and a torchlight simultaneously.]
Tunde: I actually read for this test. I read! For the first time in my academic career I READ and now NEPA is punishing me!
Chidinma: (genuinely comforting) That is your punishment for reading. The system does not reward preparation. It rewards adaptability.
Tunde: That is the most nonsensical thing you have ever said.
Chidinma: Is it working for me though?
[Chidinma pulls out a small pen-torch from her bag, a backup pen, and a small handwritten cheat note on her palm.]
Tunde: …Why do you have a flashlight?
Chidinma: NEPA preparedness. I keep one in my bag, one in my bra, and I have the third one— actually the third one is a long story.
Dr. Adebayo: Quiet! Continue writing! Anyone who stops writing because of light will not be marked!
Student in the back: Sir, I am left-handed and I literally cannot see what I am writing!
Dr. Adebayo: Then write with your right hand today. Adapt.
[A student tries to open the window for natural light. The window has been nailed shut since 2009.]
Tunde: (defeated, staring at his paper) I was writing about the theory of comparative advantage and now I cannot even see the page. God, is this a sign I should change departments?
Chidinma: Yes. Switch to Theatre Arts. We perform in the dark all the time.
[After 20 minutes, a distant generator rumbles. The lights flicker. Students erupt in cheering. Dr. Adebayo raises his hand.]
Dr. Adebayo: You have three minutes left. Darkness does not extend time.
Tunde: Sir—!
Dr. Adebayo: Three minutes, Mr. Tunde. My watch does not negotiate with NEPA.
[BLACKOUT — literally and figuratively.]
🎬 Acting Tips
- Tunde should escalate from focused confidence to pure despair within the first 30 seconds of the blackout.
- Chidinma's calm should be unsettling — she should almost seem like she planned the power cut.
- Dr. Adebayo must deliver every line with the energy of a man who has seen everything and feels nothing. Zero emotional range.
- The Security Man should be genuinely, deeply sorry — but also clearly not that smart.
- Use silence effectively right before the lights go out — the contrast makes the comedic beat land harder.
📷 Camera Ideas
- Open with a close-up of Tunde's pen scratching paper rapidly — establish his rare productivity.
- Cut to wide shot of the hall just before the blackout for maximum comedic contrast.
- Use phone torchlight for mood lighting during the dark scene — lean into it aesthetically.
- Reaction cutaways to other students in the hall add layers to the comedy.
- Slow-motion zoom on Chidinma pulling out her flashlight from her bag like a professional heist.
🔊 Suggested Sound Effects
- Power cut buzz/click sound at the moment of blackout
- Fan grinding to a stop — slowing down dramatically
- Collective student groan in chorus
- Distant generator struggling to start
- Triumphant light-restoration fan-whirring sound
- Pen scratching paper — rapid and urgent
📱 TikTok Caption Ideas
- "NEPA waited for me to finally read before striking 😭 #NigerianStudentLife #NEPA"
- "She has THREE flashlights and I have zero tears left 💀 #NigerianUniversity"
- "Dr. Adebayo does not negotiate with NEPA and neither do his feelings #ThatLecturer"
- "My coursemate was more prepared for the blackout than the actual exam 😂 #Relatable"
- "The day I actually read and God personally intervened 🕯️ #FederalUniversity"
🔀 Alternative Ending
In the alternative ending, Tunde's phone torchlight dies too. In desperation, he starts writing by memory in the pitch dark. Dr. Adebayo collects the paper, reads it under a flashlight, and tells Tunde it is the best answer he has submitted all semester — because he could not see what he was writing and accidentally wrote pure instinct.
No Nigerian student will ever forget their first NEPA CAT moment. It is a rite of passage, a shared wound, and somehow always, always funny in hindsight. Share this skit with every survivor you know.
