There is no purchase an African child can make that cannot be contextualised within the full economic history of the household. Buy a new game and you will receive a comprehensive lecture that begins with the price of garri, passes through the exchange rate, and arrives at a conclusion about your complete misunderstanding of money.
🎭 Characters
- Femi — 16-year-old who spent his holiday gift money on a game and is now in a board meeting he did not schedule
- Papa — Who has noticed the new game case and is now processing it through several frameworks simultaneously
📍 Setting
The living room. Femi is setting up a new game. Papa enters, sees the case, picks it up, reads the price on the receipt. The silence begins.
📜 Full Dialogue
Papa: How much did this cost?
Femi: …It was from my holiday money, Daddy—
Papa: How. Much.
Femi: Twenty-five thousand naira.
[Papa looks at the ceiling. This is never good.]
Papa: Twenty-five thousand naira. Do you know what twenty-five thousand naira is?
Femi: It is the standard price for a—
Papa: Twenty-five thousand naira is two months of your sister’s lesson fees. It is half the generator fuel bill for this house. It is — do you know what garri costs now?
Femi: Daddy, I used my own money—
Papa: There is no “your own money” in this house, Femi. When you are standing in this house, eating food I paid for, wearing clothes I bought, using electricity I am paying for — your money is a function of this household’s economy.
Femi: …That is not really how personal—
Papa: I went to university. My father had six children. Do you think anyone was buying games?
Femi: (quietly) Games existed differently in—
Papa: We were playing outside! With sticks and balls we made ourselves! And we were HAPPY!
Femi: I cannot make a PlayStation 5 with a stick, Daddy.
[Papa stares at him for a long moment.]
Papa: Don’t be clever.
Femi: Yes sir. Sorry sir.
[Papa puts the game down. Sits. Long pause.]
Papa: What game is it?
Femi: (surprised) …FIFA, sir.
Papa: (pause) Set it up. But the discussion about money and priorities — that is not finished.
Femi: (already setting up quickly) Yes sir.
Papa: And I am playing first. I need to see if twenty-five thousand naira has anything to say for itself.
🎬 Acting Tips
- Papa's lecture should have the rhythm of a prepared speech — he has said variations of this before.
- Femi's interjections should be tiny and immediately squashed — he is trying and failing to logic his way through.
- The shift from lecture to "set it up" should be a genuine pivot — unexpected.
- Papa settling in to play first should be a comedic authority power move.
📷 Camera Ideas
- Close-up on Papa reading the receipt — the moment everything changes.
- Ceiling stare shot — classic African dad processing moment.
- FIFA setup shot — quick hands, nervous energy.
- Final wide shot of both father and son on the sofa, controllers in hand.
🔊 Suggested Sound Effects
- Receipt crumpling sound
- Game console startup sound
- FIFA menu music
- Papa settling heavily onto the sofa
📱 TikTok Caption Ideas
- "I cannot make a PlayStation 5 with a stick, Daddy. He said it. 😂"
- "The lecture is not finished AND he is playing first. African dad ending unlocked 💀"
- "Your money is a function of this household's economy. The economics degree in full effect."
- "We made balls with sticks and were HAPPY. This line aged me. 😭"
- "Twenty-five thousand naira went through five economic frameworks before he sat down. #AfricanDad"
🔀 Alternative Ending
Alternative ending: Papa plays FIFA, scores three goals, and proceeds to talk about it for the rest of the week. At Sunday dinner, he mentions "the game I played yesterday" to guests. He never mentions the twenty-five thousand again. It was worth it.
Every African child has sat through the money lecture. The miracle is that it always ends with some version of "okay, show me how to play." Tag your father.
